he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
