Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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