Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
