i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
