the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Come on in and take your pants off
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