There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize