She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
