i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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