tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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