I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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