You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
