i don't like sucking hair
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
