He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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