Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
