The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
