went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
