you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
