I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
