on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
