dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
