Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
