i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
