im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
