It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize