Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
