Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
