he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
