Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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