I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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