They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
