my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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