Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
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