it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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