i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
