Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
