As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
