i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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