He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize