There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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