At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
