So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
