is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
this is an emotional support booty call
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