your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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