we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
