He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
