question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Randomize
