just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
