Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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