all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
