Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
