i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
