You're completely useless in the revolution.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
