i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
