whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
