You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I cut my penus on the lid.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
