question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
a search helicopter?!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We're too hungover to prance.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
