SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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