Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
