Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
