If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
