my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize