My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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