Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
