And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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