Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
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