You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
