I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dick very happy bro
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
