i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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