Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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