at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
