ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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